Live Blogging The NBA draft.

12:02 PM: Semi Hardon? Boston I expected better from you guys. Does Turkey even have a basketball in their country? Answer: No. How am I supposed to T-Bag Kobe Bryant if I'm not on a team? I'm pretty sure if I'm not on a team it's a felony to T-Bag Kobe. I will see you again next year, and I shall overcome like Martin Luther King. Bitch.

11:55 PM: One pick left until I presumably be drafted. I'm nervous, excited and kinda aroused at the same time. In fact I think i have a boner.

11:44 PM: If Portland just drafted Mike Taylor to "make history" I don't know why they didn't draft me. I haven't even played college basketball and they are drafting someone who wasn't even bright enough to use his eligibility. TARDS!

11: 37 PM: Dallas Mavericks just selected Shan Foster, I assume because of his singing abilities. Did Dallas even hear my rap? I poured my heart in that rap.

11:34 PM: Drew refuses to cuddle with me, until I become an NBA superstar. What a cunt.

11:33 PM: Alright seriously DeVon Hardon goes before me? Un-fucking-believable. I'm beginning to lose all faith together. IF I DON'T GET DRAFTED I WILL KILL MYSELF! SUCK ON THAT DAVID STERN.

11:15 PM: Two things I've learned tonight. The NBA hates Americans, by sleecting Nikola Pekovic, Omer Asik and some Croatian dude, before me, I feel very disheartened that the USA, the best basketball talent in the world, can't get a player as fucking ill as me drafted. Fuck em. Still banking on the Celtics with the 60th pick.

10:59 PM: About an hour to go in the draft and i still haven't been taken? I know ridicolous (sp?) right? Do people even know that I go to Ohio State University? Just made the popcorn and the party is poppin. Drew just did some sort of magic trick for everybody, which the number has now increased to 2 in attendance. I just managed to catch a piece of popcorn in my mouth with no hands!!!! Can Sonny Weems Chicago Bulls' 39th pick overall do that? Doubtful.

10:45 PM: Joey "I-Don't-Know-My-Bible-Referenced-Trash-Talk" Dorsey was just taken to Portland. I couldn't be happier, he know gets to play with "David" Greg Oden and himself being "Goliath" Unfortuantely Joey forgot that David beat Goliath and didn't even understand that Greg Oden was better than him and taller (maybe he should have been Goliath.)

Moron

10:43 PM: They bleeped out Frederique saying "goddamn" but only bleeped out the God? What's up with that?

10:30 PM: Frediereque (sp?) just pronounced Cooker like "Kooker" it was funny. Also Erik totally just hit his head! Talk about OUCHIEZ!! LOL'Z Frederique (sp?) totally just ran past the pumpkin clue ON PURPOSE!!!! and could very well be the Mole. Our predictions over here remain the same. Drew - Erik and Josh - Erik as well.

10:25 PM: Kathy just called Erik a little cunt for imitating her at the dinner table. I was totally LOL'ing at that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:20 PM: Kathy was being facetious (sp?) when she answered her questions kind of flippety when she forgot about her conversation with Erik in the make-up room and picked Frederique (sp?) because she works with her hair. Also picking Frederique (sp?) for every question is kind of shocking and dumb, I mean who would be able to pick that up in 3 questions?!?!?!?!?!??!! (sp?)

10:15 PM: This post is in bold because my blog hates me. Erik totally threw Kathy and Fredirique (sp?) for a loop when asked Who would you rather be stranded on a desert island with you? He picked Kathy!!!!!! Erik is totally the Mole!!!!!!!!!

10:10 PM: Watching Celebrity Mole Hawaii is cool. I'm not sure who the Mole is but Erik was acting very strangely on their search for Frederique (sp?), could he be the Mole? Possibly.

10:00 PM: I'm gonna switch to Celebrity Mole Hawaii for a little bit, but shall be back for the most important pick in the draft (hopefully.) Will continue the blog. Anyway, it's a shame Corbin Bernson was kicked off because I love Roger Dorn in Baseball and was going to possibly ask him to be a member of my entourage once I get my big contract.

9:58 PM: I don't know why teams are passing on me. I know for FACT that I don't have any kidney issues like Darrell Arthur, but there are some reports floating around the media about a flatulance (sp?) problem, which I can say is very possibly true, but shouldn't hurt my chances with any teams.

9:55 PM: The queso cheese is finished and I still haven't been drafted. No big deal, but if anyone is heading over, stop at the Shopper's Food Warehouse and pick up some tostitos queso MEDIUM please, no homo Soft shit.

9:38 PM: The Orlando Magic just selected Courtney Smith. Really? A female is nowhere near as good as me on the boards. Rest assured, if Orlando tries to take me in the 2nd round, I'm demanding a trade.

9:36 PM: I'm getting kind of worried. Number 9 prospect Darrell Arthur, has fallen to the 27th pick. which means if I'm the 43th best prospect in the draft that means I'm falling to whoever lands the number one pick next year.

9:23 PM: James Peters is an douch Misquoting my party guest and 15 time all-star pitcher Drew Hoffmaster, a good friend since practically birth and nation's leading FIFA 2008 (for PS3, cuz I'm rich) teammate with a whopping 8 goals.

9:14 PM: I think I should have entered the WNBA draft instead. Josh can kind of be a girls name too. EDIT: I don't think my nickname "Scottie-Tip-In" would translate as well.

9:09 PM: The first party guest has arrived, but ya know... that's how they all start.. .two hours late... fashionably late that is. Indiana just selected my boy Roy Hibbert. He friend requested ME on facebook... that's right I'm pretty well known, but I am know the first person (that I know of) to go to school with two 7 footers who eventually went on to be drafted.

9:00 PM: Pheonix (sp?) Suns just took Robin Lopez. Great now that team has the two worst hair styles in the NBA. If they wanted me I would have gladly regrown the fro, and cry like a little girl everytime I get fouled. (Looking at you Robin Lopez.) Also I am aware that I may have just backhandedly complimented Joakim Noah. Don't read anything into it Joakim. You're still ugly as fuck.

8:53 PM: It has come to my attention that Last Comic Standing offers a 250,000$ grand prize. Maybe I should have focused my energies on getting on that show instead of getting drafted... Fuck.

8:42 PM: Sacramento Kings just selected Jason Thompson out of Rider College? I'm sorry if I had known they were just going to waste their pick, I woulda sent them a letter too telling them why I should have been drafted. Morons.

8:29 PM: So the New Jersey Nets just passed on me. No big deal. I didn't want to play in that shithole, but really Brook Lopez? I've got more talent in my left nut than he has in his entire body. Another reason I don't want to play for the Nets: I can't play for owners who steal someone's initials.

8:22 PM: What's up party people? So apparently I'm late on the start time of the draft because David Stern apparently forgot to call and let me know. But honestly... who starts a television program at 7 fucking 30? Exactly. I don't want to let the NBA teams know I was late as it may enhance my image as a irresponsible person. The good news is I only missed 8 picks, which I wasn't very likely to be taken in anyways... I'm more of a mid-to-late lottery/end of first round, but whatevs. I know you're not. The draft party is off to a phenomenal start. I had to persuade my father to turn off entertainment news to watch my potential future. No cameras yet, but that was to be expected. I'm pretty low-key guy and I didn't want all the attention.