Yes

I'm a man of many languages. For instance I can say "yes" in several different ones. Yes.. English obviously. Si, is spanish and Nien is german for 'yes...' wait... that's no? I think i accidentally raped somebody this past weekend.

Famous

Is it sad that I only want to be famous enough so that I can compete in the D-List Celebrity sporting events before the Super Bowl and Baseball All-Star game respectively?

State of The Union Address

So I'm pretty sure the state of the union address is coming up soon, or as it's called in my house, "movie night."

Does it make sense to anyone as to why it is on EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL? I mean is someone sitting around watching this and getting absolutely pissed off at the hue President Obama is being presented with on CBS?

I guess somewhere in the deep south they can all watch it on FOX who are doing an extra special feature this year called whiting out the President.... don't ask me what that means.

Politics

This is my first attempt at a giant bit so I'm going to have to memorize this. I also need to make that that line makes sense, but i'll get arund to it.


I used to be huge into politics back in November. Not because of the Presidential Election I could care less about that. I mean it is nice to finally have one of our own in the White House, but still not the point I'm trying to make. I cared deeply about a cause. That cause: Pro-Life. Why you ask do I care about something of such little importance to me? I mean look at me, I probably should be more worried about inflation on the McDonald's Dollar Menu than a woman's right to choose. HOWEVER, it did effect me, you see I turned 21 in February, and that means I could legally drink a beer and gamble, but as a pro-life supporter I technically turned 21 nine months before that, and felt it was my right to legally do both. I would comb through my city looking for a pro-life liquor store owner and when i found one. BINGO. THIS ISN'T BURGER KING YOU CAN'T HAVE IT YOUR WAY THIS IS AMERICA

I was in the process of starting a complaint process with the United States Government but then I turned 21 and I could care less about politics again.

Girlfriends

I find it easy to get girlfriends by selecting them based off of their NFL teams. For example, my girlfriend right now is a Detroit Lions fan: Sure she breaks up with me every April because she gets hope, but comes crawling back every first Sunday in September... it's a perfect formula.